It’s almost Christmas, people! Soon it’s time to relax, eat too much and retreat to the sofa with your protruding gut to watch some classic Christmas movies.
It’s hard for a dentist to completely switch off even during the festive season, so I’ve compiled a list of the scariest teeth you’ll come across in some well-loved Christmas flicks.
If these won’t remind you to keep up your oral hygiene during the silly season, nothing will.
Number 8. Joe Pesci in Home Alone (1990)
Joe Pesci shows off his acting chops and an unfortunate gold tooth as a bumbling burglar who attempts to rob a house occupied by an eight-year-old Kevin (Macaulay Culkin). Serious physical injury to the burglars ensues, with more damage done to Pesci’s grill.
Number 7. Zack Ward in A Christmas Story (1983)
Zack Ward plays Scut Farkus, a bully taunting Ralphie, who just wants a red BB gun for Christmas. My guess is that Scut is acting out just to hide all that insecurity caused by those tragic braces.
Number 6. Michael Caine in The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Maybe Michael Caine’s yellow teeth can be explained by the fact that he plays Ebenezer Scrooge, a tightfisted miser, in this film. But surely even Scrooge could invest in some teeth whitening?
Number 5. Jim Carrey in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Jim Carrey has a nice set of teeth in real life, so this movie’s makeup artists had to perform miracles to make his pearly whites look this awful. The teeth do complement the green skin though, don’t you think?
Number 4. Jack Skellington in Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Jack’s just a puppet but boy could his teeth use some TLC from a dentist. That smile alone is enough to cause nightmares.
Number 3. David Johansen in Scrooged (1988)
Bill Murray gets a spooky ride from a taxi driver (David Johansen) who doubles as a Ghost of Christmas Past in this 80s version of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. I guess they don’t have good dental care in the Afterworld.
Number 2. Gremlin in Gremlins (1984)
Yes, Gremlins is a Christmas classic—watch it again and you’ll agree. The malicious critters spread terror in a town in the middle of Christmas celebrations and illustrate what happens when you’re too busy killing people to floss and brush your teeth.
Number 1. Danny DeVito in Batman Returns (1992)
No one’s played a scarier Penguin than Danny DeVito in this flick where Batman saves Gotham City from a real Christmas nightmare. Quick, Robin, to the Batmobile! We have a dentist to see.
Did I leave out anything? Share more examples of scary movie teeth!
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